To begin with there’s the problem when it comes to defining virginity, the definitions can be broken down into two components a biological definition and social one. Biologically, for females, it’s known as the presence or lack of an intact hymen. There are issues with this as you can have sex without breaking your hymen and you can break your hymen without having sex. Another issue is that there’s no corresponding definition for males.
The definition of virginity is also extremely heteronormative. When virginity is mentioned in conversation, what we actually mean is that someone has “never had penis-in-vagina sex.” This definition ignores the plethora of sexual possibilities. A blogger posed the question “If you never have heterosexual intercourse in your life, but have every kind of sex possible with someone of your own sex, are you still a virgin?”
The topic of virginity being heteronormative brings about more issues. One, is virginity a commodity? Some people pride themselves on the number of virgins they’ve slept with as if it is some sort of victory. Its not. This leads to the issue, of virginity being seen as a “loss.” “The loaded language of “losing” one’s virginity reinforces the notion that virginity is a real, tangible thing to be taken or given away, in turn advancing it as a commodity.”
As I stated in my previous post virginity, is associated with “purity,” innocence and some even say with “childishness.” If associated with purity then there is an air of “sex-negativity” as if sex is “dirty” and makes you “impure.” On top of that is the concept that sex is somehow goes hand in hand with maturity so to say that you are in some sense still a child until you’ve had sex. So this leads me to question the life of someone who considers themselves asexual as they age into adulthood does the lack of sex and sexual desire make them a”child” or “immature.”
Females are put on a pedestal of virtue if they haven’t had sex and subjected to everything from being slut-shamed to abuse and even murder in some regions if they have. Males are subjected to societal pressure to have sex in order to get rid of the stigma of virginity.
I understand the origin of the definition but we live in the 21st century and just as everything around us is evolving and adapting as should out-dated definitions.
Until next piece adieu from this salmon,