I bled out from your desertion, from your abandonment, I howled in pain as the night time sky rose and felt the cold chill of the loneliness, as the moon shone a light on my now solo shadow.Night by night I rested on a sea salted pillow, as my sentiments met their end at the mercy of the gallows, suffocated passion, sedated fires of desire, desensitized to the touch of any soul upon mine, the day…the days you left me unwhole.
I’ve battled, and still do weaponized throughout every breath, every conscious moment, shielding myself from my heart’s weakness, struggling for the power of will, scrapping, digging, clutching for an anchor. Trudging, hungry for any morsel of faith, hope, strength and breakthrough at the end of every tongues whisper or inspirational quote, words from unknown sources, I know through empathetic confessional scripts.
I’ve passed the pain, the denial, the pity, the hope, the countless delusions of grandeur I may have sighted for you and I, however not the fear. Of the pull and the mirages of non-tense exchanges, hours, energies, spaces habited by our spirits as a result of our conditions, human and atmospheric, for the sake of a clean slate, as dangerous and sharp edged as a metal sheet, temporary, hazardous shelter, more treacherous and unhinged than shielding. A fiery garden of eden.
Author : Audrey T. Nyamucherera