A Place Like This; A Place Like Love

The raging roller-coaster of feelings, the extreme experience of emotions that have you spelling out sympathy, apathy and empathy all simultaneously. A guessing game of genii that know everything about nothing. Love is a timeless sentiment that has shook the world for centuries, gaining momentum, and it does not look like it intends to stop anytime soon.

Be careful where you stand, the passionate boulder may either clear a path for you leading a way to euphoria or knock you off your feet and send you plummeting face first towards the ground.


“To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that’s everything.” – T. Tolis


When you have met that one person (or multiple depending on your definition of loyalty) who tickles your fancy and you have both decided it is time. After however many days, months or years it took you to finally put your ego aside and shed you fledgling feathers so that you may both soar together, you have to realise that you are now in partnership. A Business agreement of sorts.

You have taken centre stage of your life for so long that allowing someone else to grab hold of the reigns can be a bit difficult.


Like most things in life, love is merely a transaction or an exchange of services. Whether you continue your ritual at the café that you visit once a week exchanging money for a cup of freshly roast coffee. A businessman/woman who provides a service in exchange for money or a prostitute who solicits customers from their car windows, we’re only willing to do something if we are on the receiving end too. The question is what is this person bringing to the table? Can you work with it and is it really a well-balanced meal that won’t see you spewing out the fruits of their labour like a drunken sailor on this voyage of love.


With two (or more) people being involved there is bound to be a conflict of interest.

If you and your partner were the same, nothing but a bland flavour would be produced from your efforts to impress and keep one another intrigued. Compromising is seen as a formality in the twenty-first century.

A good friend of mine once told me that compromising is like losing a toe and being okay with it because “your love for them overrides all things”. I’m okay with that; metaphorically speaking of course (who wants to lose a toe?). However ‘acknowledge the sacrifice and reward it to show your appreciation’ was my response. Remember you and your partner are in this together. You both lead together and you both fall together.

Losing a toe just increases the probability of lack of stability.


Repetition is the father of learning.

Growth within any field, ranging from that course you just completed to handling a person’s body language better, all depends on how fast or slow you chose to learn. Thankfully love, just like anything, is taught and we learn on how to receive and reciprocate the feeling based on those we allow willing or sometimes unwillingly into our vicinity.

No baby is born into the world speaking English or excels off the bat at maths, these practices are taught. Giving yourself a breath of fresh every now and then to reminisce and reflect on how to change your approach on things you feel you had the potential to handle better will not do you any harm.

Nurture you first, even though this may be a partnership, no one wants to do business with a company that has no goals, values or visions.


Trust is skin surface deep, expectations the knife and disappointment the salt added to the wound.

Having a rigid outlook and perspective on what you intend to achieve throughout all your transactions of emotions may leave you with gashes across all your main arteries and left to drip dry like Jamie Foxx in “Django: unchained”. Only his artery was in his nether regions. Ouch! While trust may be hard to piece back together, shy not away from the task but approach it head on and full steam ahead.

The energy you possess will ooze out of you and latch onto others, why not have them catch the sweet scent of tenacity and determination rather than hesitation and uncertainty.


Being kicked while you’re down is not abnormal. You’ll receive those cheap shots of your past right on the chin when you’ve made a mistake.

“You did it once before. Who is to say you won’t do it again?”

Handling the short comings of your past is easier said than done and having a person who serves it to you cold, raw and unpalatable is hard to swallow. I have an idea! Why not try and bury the hatchet!? “How” you may ask? Well I don’t know… I’m still trying to figure out this dance of decadent behaviour myself.


Not all partnerships are going to be ones where you strike gold and yell “Eurika!”

More often than not you have got to keep digging and searching for your prized metal amongst the cesspools and rocky earth in order to stumble upon what it is that you’re looking for. Each person is a precious metal in their own right and when metals mix they create alloys that either serve a purpose or are pretty much worthless like pewter. Follow experience.

The world renowned philosopher Khalil Gibran believes to, in short, “ live your lives separately but love together.”


When you have finally found this person(s) who is the fire in your soul that leaves your swollen heart and seeping with happiness and your skin glowing, why deny these feelings? We all experience an uncertain amount of joy and grief in our lives so soak up as much of the good stuff as you can get! Let those tentacles of love titillate you from head to toe.


From my experiences with love, it’s a beautiful place to be when you’re in a place like this.


A place like love.

Author: Robin S James

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